Personal Impact and Influence - Behaviours on The Conversation Control Map

By Clive Hook

job, jobs, career

Having a mental model or map in your mind as you engage in conversations, meetings and negotiations is essential if you are to approach the task mindfully and maintain control rather than allowing the interaction to wander aimlessly. The best negotiators, leaders and communicators have a structure which guides their thinking and helps them to frequently check where they are in relation to their objectives or desired outcomes.

Charles Margerison's excellent Conversation Control Map is a tool I use extensively both in my own interactions and in training negotiators, salespeople, managers and leaders. The great thing about the map is that you can very quickly picture it - I've described the four boxes and the time dimension in other articles. As a quick reminder the two axes are Specific v General and Problem v Solution and the time dimension is Past, Present and Future. You can find more details with a search for "Conversation Control Map".

There are behavioural clues to which quadrant the conversation is in at any given time. If you are to take control of the conversation you start with taking control of your own behaviour. This is why we teach this on our Behavioural Intelligence programmes.

General/Problem Quadrant - This is the area where a clearer understanding of the problem is building and so the behaviours can be summarised as those associated with Enquiring. Seeking Information and Testing Understanding are examples of this. "What's happened?" "How big an issue is it?" "Am I right in saying you've had this happen before?" are useful examples.

Specific/Problem Quadrant - Deepening the understanding of the problem means Diagnosing. Not only understanding what the problem is but also what might be the key causes. Seeking Information, Summarising and Testing Understanding are important here. The nature of the questions will be more like "So when exactly did this happen?" and "From what you've said, it sounds like it's a recurring issue, is that right?"

General/Solution Quadrant - Moving above the horizontal line of the map to start focussing on solutions brings different behaviours to the fore. The behaviours in the quadrant are about Proposing. So Making Proposals and Seeking Proposals should feature heavily, this is in addition to the ever useful Summarising and Testing Understanding; "So given that you say we've only got 10 minutes I suggest we..." or "What do you see as the best way forward given what we now know?"

Specific/Solution Quadrant - Where the issue is resolved and a solution is in place or being planned. This quadrant is the Directing area which implies forward thinking and action orientation. This may, indeed, mean using the Directing behaviour (issuing an instruction or order) but Building is important too so that you are adding to a good idea or action. "So if we do what you're suggesting we could also..."

Skilled practitioners are trained in Behavioural Intelligence to make conscious decisions about their next behaviour (what they say or do), not just employ impulsive or reflexive responses - and then wish they'd said something else.